Other Bot Ch.1- The Droid
by Zephyr Bastet
Summary: The first chapter of my first fanfiction. It's really not self-insertion but it centers less on Zim+GIR than it maybe should. Zim constructs a new robot, and this is basically its first encounter with the world, including hunger and a squeakin' moose.


This could be called self-insertion if you mangled it up some, but hopefully you won't. It's not me, it's a character of my creation. Realize the difference, and please, also realize that 0(or Zero, as she will later come to be known) is the ONLY character I own. The rest are property of happy Jhonen Vasquez, Nickelodeon, Viacom, blah blah blah. I don't own em'.  
  
LET THE TYPIN' COMMENCE!  
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"Is she hungry?"  
"No, GIR."  
"Is she thirsty?"  
"No, GIR."  
"Are you suuuuure-"  
"GIR, she isn't hungry or thirsty! I should know, I programmed her!"  
"Ooooookay..."  
"I don't know why I bother with you and your stupidity. Computer, get me to the living room."  
"I'm gonna PLAYYY with mah piggies!!"  
"Yes, well.....you do that."  
  
As Zim walked exasperatedly away, GIR stared at the strange robot that was floating around in the big tank. She must be a fishy, GIR thought (miracle, him having a thought). But why does she have a rubber thingie on her head? It makes her head look like a ballooon!......I'm gonna go PLAYYY with mah piggies!! "Oooo...." GIR had spotted a fly on the side of the tank. He picked it off and ran after Zim.   
  
"Look, Master! I found a spaceship! Aawww, look, it's moving! It's so cuuuuute...." Zim peered at the bug in disgust. "GIR, what is this thing?" It's a spaceship!" Zim snatched the fly and hurled it out the open window. "Aaaw, look at it go!" The insane robot leaped onto the couch and started sucking the chocolate shake he always seemed to have with him, completely absorbed by the television. The Angry Monkey Show was on."What is with that monkey?" Zim asked, annoyed. GIR, completely missing the rhetorical question, screamed "LEPRECHAUNS!" and leaped into a tub filled with rubber pigs. The crazy tin can then started hurling pigs in random directions, managing to send one flying out the window and crashing through the neighbor's window (yes, in this fic, Zim lives across the street from Dib! Don't ask why, a few people MIGHT understand, but WHO THE HECK CARES?!), knocking Dib, who had been spying on them, nearly unconscious. "What? Dib?!" Zim yelled. GIR stared wide-eyed at the commotion he had single-handedly caused, then grinned and resumed the piggy-toss. This incident triggered a full-scale pig war between the houses. Dib bonked Zim's head with several of the rubber animals. GIR, who wasn't helping much at all, ended up sending one flying across the room to hit "The Button".  
  
The Button was a large, red thing, placed on a pedestal and aptly labeled "The Button". Zim had told GIR that this button, when pushed, would deactivate the little 'bot for good. Miraculously, these words had registered with GIR, and he was deathly afraid of the thing. This also made for a useful blackmail handle for Zim to use when GIR was being overly disruptive. As if a blaring alarm had gone off somewhere, GIR shrieked loudly and dove into the pigs. Zim was just staring at the button, his eyes narrowed. He knew what this meant, and it wasn't good. It was time to see whether his programing skills were all he thought they were.  
Warning. Emergency droid activation system in progress. Warning. Emergency droid activation system in progress.  
  
As the computerized voice blared through the house, Zim snapped to his senses and walked over to the pig tub. After a few moments of rooting around, he pulled out a lifeless GIR, eyes black and dead. He dropped it, annoyed, on the floor and said loudly, "Get up, GIR. You haven't been deactivated." GIR leaped joyfully into the air, then plopped down on the floor and began squeaking his rubber moose, squealing with hilarious laughter. Zim rounded on him, glowering, and yelled "Shut up, GIR!" GIR bounded to his side. "Did you say burrito?" "No, I did not say burrito!" "Oooo-kay!" GIR screeched, then began to roll about of the floor, slamming into the walls.   
  
Meanwhile...  
The droid's artificial eyelids snapped suddenly open. The tank was being drained. A metal fist shot out and shattered the thick glass. Project 0 stepped warily out of her containment chamber, blinking her large, light-sensitive eyes. Looking to her left, she spotted a pile of clothing that had obviously once been organized, but had been disheveled by an unknown organism. Silently, she pulled on a pair of long, black nylon gloves and a pair of skinny knee-high boots. She yanked over her head a baggy grey T-shirt reaching halfway past her knees with a picture of a mongoose on the front, and over that a high-collared trenchcoat. A pair of contact lenses stretched over her orange eyes(which resemble Zim's) and one couldn't tell that she wasn't just another grade-school student.  
  
Upstairs, GIR was attempting to destroy the wall of the house by throwing his moose into it. The paint was starting to chip, but besides that, all he was accomplishing was providing another annoyance for Zim. All of a sudden, the couch lifted upwards and the android, incognito, marched swiftly across the room. She stood at attention next to GIR, who had miraculously calmed down and decided to make faces at her. Zim stood in front of her, squinting is his usual fashion. She stared foward, unmoving, her eyes devoid of emotion.  
"Are all of your systems fully functional?"  
"Affirmative," she answered flatly.  
"The AI chip?"  
"Yes."  
"The foot boosters?"  
"Yes."  
"All right, good." Zim rubbed his hands together and laughed, laughed like the evil little Irken warrior he was. While he was absorbed with laughing and scheming and such, GIR had tired of face-making and had put on his doggy disguise. He jumped on 0's head and started poking at her eyeballs. Her gloved hand shot up, grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, and held him out in front of her at eye level. He stared, drooling a bit, then offered his moose to her. She eyed it blankly for a moment, then took it, setting GIR carefully on the ground. Finding it to be squeaky, she looked at Zim almost questioningly, then, without waiting for a command, she sat down on the ground and squeezed the tiny mammal, smiling a bit. Zim raised an eyebrow. "Intriguing. She appears to have the ability to make decisions independently. Well, as long as there are no malfunctions, we can deem this project: SUCCESS!" A short robotic arm placed a party hat on his head, and a small horn blew in the background. He grinned for a brief moment, then ripped the hat off and sat on the sofa. The two 'bots remained on the floor, GIR rolling around a bit and 0 grinning serenely. Suddenly she sat ramrod straight and yelled "Malfunction! Ah...uhhr....MALFUNCTION!" Zim jumped to his feet. "What is it? Your emotion simulator? The beverage mixer?" "No...no, there's this feeling in my lower abdomen...it's all...EMPTY!" GIR stared for a moment, then grinned with glee and clarified the situation with his "infinite wisdom".   
"Oooh, that means you're hungry!" 


End file.
